Good Words/Bad Words

Six Years Now (Work to Do)

2011-12-21T23:18:00.000-05:00

Six years ago you stole my heart,
three years later you tore it apart.
We must of been cursed right from the start.

People come and people go,
most of them now don't even know.
They raise an eyebrow
when I mention your name,
they don't remember when
you and I were the same.

Six years ago you stole my heart,
three years later you tore it apart.
We must of been cursed right from the start.

It's been so long now
I can barely see your face
and every new day
I try to pick up the pace.
Start all over and find someone new,
but this circle just keeps leading back to you.

Six years ago you stole my heart,
three years later you tore it apart.
We must of been cursed right from the start.

Now I find comfort in my bourbon,
it isn't hard to find,
rain drops fall on aching wounds,
they've become seasoned over time.
Memories and scars attributed to
that long lost love of mine.

Six years ago you stole my heart,
three years later you tore it apart.
We were surely cursed right from the start.

Can't Live With 'Em (Can't Kill 'Em)

2011-12-14T10:49:00.000-05:00

As the last rays of winter sunlight
pierced like fire through the blinds
I stopped and thought about you
and all those long lost friends of mine.
I thought about Charlie,
and I thought about Jenny,
never considered my time with them a waste.
I thought about you for a while,
your heart filled this empty space.

Light a cigarette to kill some time,
wait out the clock, the ice is melting.
Won't be too much longer now,
the summer sun will be sweltering.
I thought about Charlie,
and I thought about Jenny,
remembering every little line upon a face
and I thought about you for a while,
your heart filled this empty space.

Stranglehold

2011-12-14T09:21:00.000-05:00

Been working, well slaving, week after week
no idea when my next day offs gonna be.
So much confusion I can't here myself speak,
something inside wants to be set free,
I could fly away like a bird don't you see,
but rattling away like a ghost story,
this old chain keeps pulling on me.

All day and all night it doesn't seem to change
and this old chain might as well just be a cage
But I do what I do cause it's got to be done,
all in the hope that one day I'll be gone.
Moved onto something new, something clear.
Then out of my eye comes one single tear,
cause this old chain keeps pulling me back here.

I got all the energy, I got time to spare,
so this job has become my cross to bear.
I wander in early letting out a sigh,
and I jsut feel like I could lay down and die.
When I look in the mirror the person I see,
someone losing touch, maybe getting rusty
cause this old chains keeps pulling on me.

The sign on the wall says someones gotta be here,
I'd much rather be home enjoying a cold beer.
Can't someone out there here my plea?
cause this old chain keeps pulling on me.
Pulling on me, pulling on me.

All day and all night it doesn't seem to change
and this old chain might as well just be a cage
But I do what I do cause it's got to be done,
all in the hope that one day I'll be gone.
Moved onto something new, something clear.
Then out of my eye comes one single tear,
cause this old chain keeps pulling me back here.

Lion's Blood

2011-12-14T09:20:00.002-05:00

A refugee from the east coast,
headed inland for summer
Five years later and she wonders
can I ever go home?

Locked in a cage with a lion,
she hasn't seen the sun in weeks,
he bares his teeth at anyone
that comes near,
her future seems bleak.

But they that I'm the tamer,
the king of the beasts.
I feel it in the air,
vibrations in the wind,
subtle clues to the coming feast.

See I've found myself here before,
with a stray dog and a mother wolf.
The bones lie out in the woods there somewhere,
no one ever took the time to look.

King of the Jungle,
I'll tell you now,
there will be hell to pay
for what you've done.
You're a rabid animal,
you need to be put down.
You'll know when I'm coming
your animal senses will hear the sound.
And when I get my hands on you,
I'm gonna rip out
your shiny sharp gold tooth.

Days Gone By

2011-12-14T09:18:00.001-05:00

I can't keep this thing alive.
The memory of you and I,
remembering you say goodbye.
Remembering that look in your eyes.

It's been hanging around such a long time,
in the back of this old head of mine.

But I'll make it through the night
of this I'm almost sure,
In a bottle of of some cheap red wine,
I've found the miracle cure
To her face these days I'm almost blind
as the picture begins to blur.
I left my mind in days gone by
and I left my heart with her.

I can't love you like I'd like to,
it's just too much for me to do.
Every time I try to get next to you,
your old man jumps in between us two.

He's been hanging around such a long time,
doesn't like the fact that you were mine.

But I'm gonna make it through the night
of this I'm completely sure.
In a bottle of these old black spirits,
I've found myself the cure.
To her face now I'm surely blind,
the pictures all but blurred,
I left my mind in days gone by,
and I left my heart with her.

Tradewinds Revised

2011-12-02T08:55:00.004-05:00

Dark cold water,
ice forming on the top
and I'm floating
out there on a plank
somewhere in the Atlantic.
And I'm calling out your name,
howling for a second chance
but I'm getting no reply,
I'm alone, more than
I've ever been before,
I could just float away and die.

It's all I've ever done,
It's all I've ever been.
Running away time and time again,
Dragging along my cross to bear.
Now what was it exactly that you said;
I don't care?

I believe the echoes of the ocean,
the finger nail marks upon this plank,
have something else to say.
As it washes up on shore one day,
little kids down on the beach,
wading out in it to play.
I have something to say,
I have something to say.

It's a good time to be reborn,
cause we don't give a shit no more.
Mistakes are drawn like lines through sand.
You say you need my help,
you've had it all along.
I wander through this town and think
The ocean will breathe a sigh of relief
as the tradewinds set my course to sink.
I've been around enough to burn out.
Haven't I been there enough to help out?
Wasn't I there when it all came down?
Tell me how could you ever have any doubt?

My Wife

2011-12-02T08:33:00.002-05:00

We're on this freeway
up high in the mountains,
and it's cutting into the rock
and I can see for miles out there.

We're on this freeway
somewhere out there on the frontier,
and we're cutting into the asphalt,
the car as the scalpel and us as the surgeons.

One drop of blood,
and we're thinking
of drinking.
One drop becomes two,
and we're thinking
of drinking,
One drop of blood
and we're sinking, we're sinking
the drinks got ahold of you.

Now I'm back at home in bed,
and the night is creeping in,
all the shadows are closing in,
can someone tell me just what to do?

The next morning in bed,
light a cigarette
as the shakes cut through,
one drop of blood,
and again it's just me and you.

Gravedigger Blues

2011-12-01T07:23:00.004-05:00

My dear old Dad must be laughing now
he was always right about so many things,
poor Mama never had a clue,
she threw away that wedding ring.

"You'll up and leave someday soon,
just like all the rest."
Then some old girlfriend calls me up
and says, "You really were the best."

I take a drink to stop and think
but the thoughts just never come.
I wonder for a minute if this
is how it should be,
am I really all this dumb?

No matter what they say or think,
I've got this under my thumb;
they all laugh and shrug me off,
"The boy is just too numb."

I begin to think about old friends,
the ones that lost their way.
I saw them crumble, watched them fall
and I wonder where they are today.

Dear old dad must be laughing now,
off somewhere digging his grave,
cause all he left me was my hole to dig,
never told me what to say.

But the past is the past,
and the present is crass
the futures looking grim,
and maybe if I'm lucky
I can be more like me
and just a little less like him.

Balance

2011-06-22T11:24:00.000-04:00

I'm gonna wake up tomorrow.
Throw on my boots and my black jeans.
I'll drive down the mountain
and metaphorically, know what it means.

I'm gonna wake up tomorrow, free and alive.
Walk the streets with my head up straight.
Thoughts of your presence all out of my mind,
Truly happy for the first time in my life.

My friends they all think,
I'm secretly depressed,
they point out my actions
and the way that I dress.
Your unkept clothes
and your thousand yard stare,
tell us things you would never dare.

I'm gonna wake up tommorow,
and start all over.
I'll build a new home,
and meet some new folks.
I'll remember their names
like I remember your name.
Like some old campfire story,
I'll tell them all about it someday.

Thaw

2011-04-25T13:22:00.000-04:00

It's been a long cold winter
many sung it's song before,
now that I look back
I don't wanna feel that way any more.

That bright spring sun
shining down upon this place,
I smile coming up the drive,
when I finally see your face.

You say you're frightened,
You say you're alone,
You claim that you don't have a home.
I don't wanna lose you,
like I've done before,
those pretty eyes and that smile
always keep me coming back for more.

If you're alone,
then I'm alone.
If you are scared
I am terrified.
If you're going to leave
I'll only leave with you
throw up my arms and
say goodbye.

I came home late on friday,
in the hot warm air of June.
The light was off, but I
saw something there in the cold light of the moon.
A note on the doorstep
with my name written neat.
Was a letter from you,
didn't know if I should read.

It read, I'm frightened
It read, I feel alone.
It said that this place just isn't my home.
I don't want to hurt you,
like I've done before,
but I just can't live this way
not another day, not any more.

Tradewinds

2011-04-07T01:32:00.001-04:00

Dark cold water,
ice forming on the top
and I'm floating
out there on a plank
somewhere in the Atlantic.

And I'm calling out your name,
yelling for redemption,
but it's not coming.
I'm alone, more than
ever I ever thought
I've ever been before.

It's all I've ever done,
It's all I've ever been.
Now what was it that you said,
I don't care?

I think the echoes in the ocean,
and the finger nail marks
upon the plank
that washed up upon the shore
have something else to say.

I have something to say,
I have something to say.

It's a good time to be reborn,
we don't give a shit no more.

I wander through this town,
and I think,
I've been around enough
to burn out.
And you're out there screaming my name,
haven't I been there enough
to help out?
Has it finally faded out?

Tell me did it finally flicker and fade out?

Never Give it Up

2010-12-22T01:42:00.003-05:00

It is the amalgamation,
and the oblivion
of everything
you know.
It is only
a simple
mechanism
of fire itself.

Thank You

2010-12-22T01:07:00.000-05:00

If I could only
hear your voice.
Once in a while,
here and there,
I wouldn't
wonder anymore.

For some reason,
unbeknown to me,
you can't seem
to find
your
way out
of my head.

You're in there
smashing off the walls,
like a bat caught
in a house.

I really
like you,
a whole lot.
You really
are the dearest
friend
an old buzzard
like me
could ask for.

And I can only thank you.

Prayer to a Heathen God

2010-12-21T23:47:00.000-05:00

If I empty this one, before I drown,
pull me out of it, smack me around.
Help to get these
feet on solid ground.
When I begin to lose control,
and I get ahead of myself.
When my outbursts take their toll,
and you feel like another book on the shelf.
I need you to become the mirror
when I can't see what I've become myself.

If I push you out the door,
don't listen to a word I say.
Just break the windows,
scale the roof.
I'm sure it's just one of those days.
I know without you here,
my heart's only gonna melt,
and I have to break down and accept,
that I really need your help.
I need you to become the mirror,
when I can't see what I've become myself.

From Nothing

2010-10-29T19:49:00.005-04:00

I have wrestled
the canyons,
and reached
the highest peaks.
Seen things
you'll never see,
been places
you will never be.
I've rode the air like sound,
tossed head first in the fire,
and thrown in a canvas bag to drown.

I tamed the
forest long ago,
and the mountain
crumbled away to stone.
I was left with
nothing so to speak,
in smoldering
ruins was my keep.
I saw the devil
wrapped in her disguise,
and I found my
way right between her thighs.

Tell me you've got
the drop on me.
I'll laugh and show
you just what I have been.
I've been the earth,
and the fire inside.
I've soaked the soil,
and burned away the life.
I've carried dust through the air
like a thousand knives,
and cut the mountain
down to it's core.

I've clouded the morning
streets with fog,
leaving no trace behind.
Shrouding what your eyes,
fight so hard to find.
I've blown into the coast,
like a thousand fists,
and slammed myself against
islands out there in the mist.
I've etched my name
upon this land.
Sucked the life right out of this place,
And reduced continents to sand.
I am one,
I am all.
I am you, everything.
I am nothing at all.
We came from the sea.
We came from the woods.
We came from the sky.
We came from dust.
From nothing.

The Last Realization

2010-10-26T19:45:00.003-04:00

I quietly detach myself,
and the others in the room
immediately take notice.

I've come to this conclusion,
so many god damn times.
And every time I shake
my head and make up some excuse.

The wasted nights,
and meaningless fights.
I can't take this anymore.
I love you,
like I love the sun,
like I love the air and water.
But I can't take this anymore.
What's the point in it all?
Waiting for nothing to call.

No longer will I
fight this losing battle.
No longer will I hunger
for anything
to fill this void.

Sunday, Thinking About Fish

2010-10-24T16:08:00.005-04:00

I've got this life,
this one, and only.
You've got your life,
but you seem sick and lonely.
Open your eyes,
open your ears.
I open my mouth,
and my words
flow weightless.
Open your heart,
let me come crashing
in like a torrent.

Simple,
floating notes.
Bleeding seamlessly into
the light,
and the shade,
across all of the spectrum.

Open your heart,
let me come crashing
in like the sea.

I am a fish,
swimming intertwined
with my fate,
waiting to land
on some fat bastard's plate.
Swimming against the current
through rivers so blue,
but in the end your heart is a dam
that won't let me through.

Cecilia

2010-10-21T10:28:00.004-04:00

She's wide awake, crystal clear,
her eyes so dilated they act like a mirror.
Reflecting this image through a black caustic sphere.
Reflecting the troubles I have when I'm near.
But my words ring with nothing,
not one desperate plea will she hear.

Never in a million years,
thought you'd be one too.
You scare the shit out of me.
This had to have been on your things to do.
How, could they ever
get their rotten grip around you?

They told me denial was the answer,
but I'm more than well aware.
It's apparent to the children in the street,
who go about w/o a care.
Mom and Dad surely know it,
what else could they expect?
Cadavers in my closet to which I must confess.

Before I knew it, I was caught up in a dream,
maybe nightmare is a term to describe more accurately.
Am I sleeping? Awake? Am I even coherent?
This picture feels broken and at the same time seamless.

She pays attention to detail & moves with elegance,
like a bird of prey, mechanical & systematic.

Not you too, please, not you.

Ringing With Silence

2010-10-21T09:58:00.002-04:00

All eyes drawn towards the stage,
not a movement in the crowd.
Their ears grasp tightly
around the sound.
As the pitch raises,
and the bass fades back.
As the light blends
into the deafening noise,
as the shadows
dance along
the venue's wall.

STOP!

Stop what you're doing,
you're killing yourselves.
You hear only lies.
No, you hear nothing.
Can't you hear me people?

The music resumed,
and the song came to a close,
as the finale approached,
the crowd began to move
not dancing,
coming down,
losing it.
They begin to kick and scratch the walls,
they grab the speakers
and toss them about.
Sparks and smoke burst as breakers bust,
cables fly through the air like whips.
The lights faded,
and the sounds ceased.
As the crowd of them
slips silently back to the void.

As the Crowd Files In...

2010-10-21T03:13:00.002-04:00

The silence was broken,
as the crowd filed in
and took their seats.
This ruined theater,
of days long gone.
Vines creep
up the columns,
and cracks run
through the walls.
The huddled masses,
wander in,
glass eye'd,
sleepless for days.
And they hear the music,
they hear the sound,
their blood begins
to move again,
they dance with clarity,
and their shamble
turns to technique.
Up on the stage,
their messiah waits,
and sings his songs.
Bringing back a hint of life
to this decaying place.

Friends

2010-10-19T18:16:00.002-04:00

Wrestling with the
dust of compassion,
and the leaning
scale of self control.
Do I take the
left
do I take the
right?
Do I turn around
and never look back.

I've got it under control.

10 after 2, early in the morning.
It's Thursday? Right.
Bottle of wine, and
Black Velvet
in the night.
Sucker punched
by strange dreams again.
Strange feelings
of nostalgia,
and memories
swept under the rug.
I miss you.
I realize I've missed you.
And amidst the current
turmoil of my life,
I wish now
that you were by my side,
not as a lover,
no that's behind us,
I wish now
that you were by my side as a friend.

It Is What It Is

2010-10-17T17:45:00.005-04:00

It's my ego and my anger
that have torn us apart.
Hostility and frustration
which we've made into an art.
Responsibility and morals,
words just not within your heart.
It's your pills and
your fits of rage.
Your mad delusions,
pointing blame.
Maybe it's me begging
you to just give it up.
Maybe it's the fact that
I know you just won't stop.
I pause and take a breath,
and quell my shaking hands.
Clear my throat,
and shake the cobwebs
from my fuzzy head.
Time stops for a moment,
and I realize what it really is..

Sunday Morning's Way Back

2010-10-14T09:56:00.001-04:00

I want to imagine
us lying in bed,
Sunday morning
with the Beatles
on the radio,
newspaper spread out
all around us,
smoking cigarettes,
sipping coffee.
I want to close my
eyes and see it
all in front of me.
But I don't see
anything.

Fire

2010-10-14T09:25:00.002-04:00

The smoke drifts up into
the rays of light
peering through the blind,
the early morning sun
gives Warmth.
Like columns of ash.
I close my eyes,
and see your face
with eyes like smoldering embers.
The trees are all ablaze now.
The earth is all ablaze.
My heart is on fire.
My mind is the bellows.

Sturdy Like a Stone

2010-10-10T16:22:00.005-04:00

I laugh and think,
"Damn I thought I was transparent."
Compared to you ghosts,
with your skeletal silhouettes,
I'm more flesh and blood
then I make myself out to be.

But I feel it,
when I see old friends
going down that
neon sleepless road.
I feel it when I see
you melt away into
all that shiny plastic.

I gotta cut it at that though,
so I say;
fuck your fake friends,
and your fake music.
Eat some more fake drugs,
and live your fake life.

While I stay sturdy like a stone,
while I still got the will to roll.

Your A Man Now

2010-10-08T09:49:00.008-04:00

I'm tense, stressed,
buckling beneath this weight.
As the reality of it all,
slowly slips away.
This has gotta be the end,
and I stand here watching.
Waiting, wondering, hoping.
The sun is brighter
then it's ever been before.
I feel the warmth take over me.
My heart and mind melt into it.
They melt into all of it.
My feet planted firmly on the ground,
like the roots of the strongest oak.
My head in the clouds, like
the lifeless trees
swaying to and fro in the cold
October wind.
I am the trees,
I am the dust and the soil.
I am the sea.
I am the sun, and the moon,
and the stars above.
I am a human being.
And now I am a man.
I am you.
I am me.
And the sun slowly drifts down
over the western skyline.
Nights comes in like Purple Majesty,
and I spin to take in all of it around me.
I smell the air,
and feel the wind,
I hear the currents and flows,
low pressure, high, it's all the same.
I've come to realize these moments before.
Something alluring and special,
and when it's all over,
I feel the silence.
I feel that void.
But something's different this time around,
I brought something back with me
from the edge of the wilderness.
From the edge of this madness.

Vibration

2010-10-05T18:57:00.003-04:00

I take about my three hundredth drink this week.
I shudder and shake for a minute.
My ears ring like a Marshall stack
and a Gibson chord.
I feel the air run by me,
off to another place.
And every time I see your face,
I feel like running,
running away,
into your arms.

We got the stars against us,
the heavens
and hell
and all in between.
We got those rotten stars against us,
we'll shoot 'em down with our fingers
drunk on Brandy in the dead of winter.

I thought there was a time
when I thought I knew something.
But I don't know anything anymore.
I don't know anything.
I don't know you any more,
I don't know the score.
I don't know anything,
I don't know myself anymore.

I know one thing though,
the Earth itself shakes
with each step we make
toward each other,
like some Japanese movie monster.

A Few Hours of Consciousness

2010-10-03T15:56:00.004-04:00

The weather's been
less than terrific,
but I'll tell you.
I feel like a million bucks,
or at the very least a thousand.
You've got me moving,
you've got me alert and aware.
My eyes are open wide,
and my senses have returned.
I've got so much I need to tell you.
So much you really oughta know.
My voice is strong and loud and carries far,
but your ears won't open up to my song.
It's as simple as 'I love you.'
but it's not that simple.
Right now it doesn't matter.
You've got me smiling.
Yes, you've got me smiling.

It's October Now (Another One Night Stand)

2010-10-01T11:54:00.005-04:00

It's been pouring rain now
for three or four days,
but the sun's peaking through
and the steams rising up off the pavement.
The fog slowly burns off,
and it isn't so bad out.

Seeing you now,
I feel the doubt.
Hearing your voice,
I hear your pain.
Tasting your lips,
I remember everything.
Feeling your touch,
I melt with acceptance.

Now thinking of you,
I just want to forget.

Staring at you,
I see the sorrow.
Singing your song,
I hear the anger.
Tasting your flesh,
I remember why.
Feeling your heartbeat,
I realize it's empty.

Now thinking of you,
I just want to leave.

I remember when they told me
to shut up and hang on for the ride.
That was the end of last winter.
Autumn's getting her golden
glory for now, but it won't be long,
give it time, it won't be long.
Bring me the endless night.
Let Winter get her icy fingers tight around me.

The Edge of the Wilderness

2010-09-29T22:27:00.006-04:00

Poetry becomes visible
by firelight.
It all makes sense now.
These circles,
these vibrations.
All have one unmistakable end.

He lives by the light
like burning paper,
holding on strong
until the flames lick
your fingers and
it's time to toss it away.

He had all the dirty work,
and got tossed out
like the trash.
Ruined livers, lungs, and hearts
casualties in another
unspoken war.

Now he's fighting
another losing battle,
and getting eaten alive
by the wide open spaces
he keeps falling through.

I thought I knew what was wrong
and I thought I thought I knew what was right.
I thought I knew what was going on,
and I managed to let go of everything in sight.
If you could only save yourself, she said,
you would surely save this world.

But your children, Ma, they're starving.
No longer is this forest,
pure and untouched,
the infections of men spread through here.
Their egos and delusions and fears.
Your children lost their edge, somewhere,
or maybe they're holding back for the right time.

I thought, maybe you are right.
I thought maybe it's time to fight.
No no, tonight is not the night.
I hear the dogs and coyotes howl in the distance,
I hear the cars up out on the highway.
I hear the cats in my garden, pawing my windows.
It's all so familiar but somethings out of bounds,
I've gotten lost and I'm feeling mixed up
confused, I suppose is the sound.
The autumn air is chilly and
I guess the same goes for the ground.
You've disappeared somewhere into the night,
but by the smell of the firewood I'll track you down.

Salmon Song

2010-09-24T11:39:00.002-04:00

I felt the vibration,
before I heard the sound and
I saw the warning sign before me,
blatant and literal.
The full moon rises up,
and I feel my blood excited.
Go ahead, have another drink.

I lay in bed come morning,
not sure if I even slept.
Trying to pick apart,
the dreams and realities.
The late September sun is hot,
sweating the poison out drop by drop.
And I need water, cool flowing water.

Violet Morning Blues

2010-09-20T18:51:00.006-04:00

Well I told my baby,
I'll wipe away those tears from your face,
when and if I see you frown.
If you asked politely, I'd walk the many miles,
just up and leave this town.

Well I asked of my Mother,
Ma, what the hell's a matter with me?
Big brother ran off with my sweet rider,
he said, there's something you should see
I began to feel like an outsider.

He took me out to the tall grass,
showed me her sleeping there sound.
Now my heads a poundin' and
I'm headin' for the other side of town.

Well I told my brother,
thanks man, for the worried mind.
I saw him standing there smiling proud.
And I looked up to the violet morning sky,
asked for mercy but I didn't hear a sound.

You

2010-09-02T10:00:00.000-04:00

I don’t know quite why,
I guess it’s just infatuation.
My head is spinning in twelve directions,
I can’t sleep or stay awake,
I can’t wait to leave but I’m always late.
I miss you but I’m doing fine with you not around,
I love you , but I’m reluctant to admit,
your a lethal addiction that I just can't quit.
My head was spinning in twelve directions all around you.
You, you.

?

2010-09-02T09:11:00.008-04:00

I sit by the sun down contemplating silently,
and I seem to be thinking things out a bit more honestly.
I'm still confused, is it you, is it booze, is it just me?
I keep asking all these questions, yet no one is answering.

I wake up with an aching in my heart and head,
and even on the good days, I still feel slightly dead.

I lay right down next to you, hoping you will see,
but you seem to be over analyzing every little thing.
And I'm confused about you, what you really think of me.
You keep asking these questions, but I'm not understanding.

I wake up with an aching in my heart and head,
and even on the good days, I still feel slightly dead.

I run out to the countryside, just to find a little peace,
and the late summer sun is rising out there somewhere in the east.
I look back and wonder but the memories are weak, and
the gold red hues of autumn signal for the coming feast.

I sit down by the sun rise, contemplating silently.
And my thoughts are all so broken and they cannot be retrieved,
Won't you clarify just what you mean, what exactly this should be.
We're asking these questions, but no one's listening.
We're asking all these questions and they're slowly killing me.

Recall

2010-08-26T09:58:00.003-04:00

It's so hard to bring it back now,
to recall that memory
from those days past.
The warm feeling of it
still rings in the back of my head sometimes.
And I get stark frames,
sunsets and blazing hues of orange and blue,
bare trees, and so many faces,
so many names but it's
so much.
I wonder what they thought of me,
if I'm just another face,
with a name on the tip of a tongue.
The images are blurry,
I can recall rain,
almost all the time.
I remember the songs we sang,
and smile if they come on the radio.
And I remember the nights,
well, some of them at least.
I remember laying down with you,
in the cool autumn air,
I remember the stillness.

Song for my Shadow

2010-08-26T09:51:00.002-04:00

Empty quiet summer morning,
with fall fast approaching.
I'm familiar with this time of year.
Every year.
The seasons change,
and I grow tired,
so tired.
But the bursts of color,
each time I look up
at the shedding leaves
keeps me awake.

I look back and my shadows dancing.

I have no destination,
but when we get there,
we'll know what it is.

You Created These Monsters

2010-08-18T16:05:00.003-04:00

There comes a time, along the line
when the monsters that you made
finally break their chains.
They take horrific shape before you,
Dr. Frankenstein rolls in his grave.

We're sitting there,
in a junkyard somewhere.
When did we get here?

I look over at you,
you're smiling,
and you look absolutely
stunning
in the pale glow from
a streetlight nearby.

The beasts that roamed within us
have gathered strength
and taken shape,
we have become them,
we surely have become them...

On Harmony

2010-08-13T10:37:00.003-04:00

I want to fall into a river,
I want to drown and be washed away.
I want to leak out through the pipes.
I want to flow through soil
and float in the humid summer wind.
I want to float down stream,
and rain down on dry city streets.
I want to churn for days in whirlpools,
and crash upon the beach in the waves.
I want to return to my home, the sea,
it's the only thing I ever want to be.
Let me wash away this shore,
and head back out to the horizon.
Take me through the current,
Take me back to the sea.
It's the only thing I ever want to be.

It's a Long Road for a Heavy Load Like This

2010-08-06T12:46:00.002-04:00

I swore up and down,
last year was gonna kill me.
And New Years came around
and I was still kicking.
I swore up and down,
all the shit I've done,
would come back to bite me.
Now we're halfway through it,
and the teethmarks have faded.

I swore up and down,
last year was gonna kill me.
And New Years came around,
and there was no more agony.
I swore up and down,
that I'd surely crumple
beneath this weight I carry,
but I'm still on my way,
and karma hasn't had shit to say.

A Sudden Whisper Through the Fog

2010-06-30T17:00:00.001-04:00

I stand alone,
with nothing but
my lonely shadow
to keep me company.
Nothing to hold me back now.

The people,
the masses
the god forsaken
masses.
the waste,
the ill repute,
the greed
and insecurity.
I stand alone,
in this misery.

The strange
huddled crowds
of bums
and junkies
and drunks
and clowns,
dwarfs and giants,
titans,
legends in their own right.

I stand alone
in this world,
among billions of them.
I stand alone,
among this mockery of grace.

I stand alone,
as something.
Not quite animal,
not quite human,
or fish, or bug,
or any beast with fur or feather,
I stand alone,
unlike any other
but always somewhere in between.

Good Morning Midnight

2010-05-28T10:37:00.002-04:00

Good morning, midnight.
You always were my favorite
face to wake up to.
Lying there still drunk
in the early morning hours,
ashtray still smoking in the dark.
Warm bottle of red, red wine
at my side.

Good morning, midnight.
I can feel the heat
from your soft blue body
lying there so close to me.
My brain aches and bleeds,
and you say sleep now,
but I won't sleep.
Not tonight my dear.
Not tonight.

Dipsomania

2010-05-26T20:49:00.003-04:00

Emotion
and
Detachment
and
Ignorance
and
Wisdom
and
Passion
and
Serenity
and
Chaos
and
Harmony
then
Life
and finally,
Death.

From Dusk to Dawn

2010-05-22T16:35:00.002-04:00

I feel the silence in her voice,
her words ring w/ nothing
until it's just her and me.

She grows and lives,
as I myself live.
And we grow,
we grow silent,
distant.

I grow increasingly tired
of this place,
these faces,
these people.
All but one,
her, as bright as the morning sun.

I grow from nothing, into,
something...
She leaves something
in this empty space,
something warm
and sweet like rum.
Her, as bright as the morning sun.

Hopeless Nostalgic

2010-05-22T16:30:00.002-04:00

There are moments in time,
some places along the line.
Frames of thought,
memories that stick out like a sore thumb.
They seem warm, and not so distant,
the smell and sounds of summer,
all those long bright days out there.
Even the lonely, dark, and bitter cold winters
don't seem as bad as they did.
I look over the same old photographs
the ones I've looked at a thousand times now,
has it really been that long?
Five? Six? Seven years?
For the life of me, I couldn't remember.
If I could find my way back,
back there, somehow,
maybe, just maybe...

Monday Afternoon, Drunk on Wine

2010-05-17T16:51:00.004-04:00

Haven't put my finger on it yet,
but against this storm a blowing in,
I'll take the chance and make a bet.
Hope for the best.
Yes, hope for the best.

The shades are on, they're guarding my eyes,
my lover she's in limbo
and there's another man between her thighs.
Fear for the worst.
Yes, fear for the worst.

Throw down that ace and that pair of fives,
charge into the room ready to fight,
that man isn't human, to your awkward surprise,
throw a few strategic punches before you go blind,
no chance in hell you're making it out alive.

Hope and fear
and love and hate
and live and die,
just to do it all again tomorrow.

Cycles

2010-05-14T11:17:00.002-04:00

Like the yellowing pages of a book,
as time passes,
and seasons turn.
We see new days begin and end.
We see the coming and going,
of hours, days, weeks, months...

The circle it seemed, was never ending.
There were gaps here and there,
empty spaces, cracks.
Just waiting for some careless one,
one drunk, one daydreamer.
Could of been me, or even you.

As time fades,
the night recedes,
she's standing there yelling,
infuriated, exhausted.
Bats flicker in and out of sight
against the lavender blue morning sky.
Everything's gonna be just fine.

Song for Romulus and Remus

2010-05-07T10:06:00.003-04:00

"It's been a long time, brother."
The spirit or Remus cried.

The ghosts that haunt this alleyway
still stumble wildly
howling in the night.
The orange glow in the air,
brings back memories of life.

They murdered my brother
and they made me a king.
The Alpha inside couldn't be questioned,
oh it was an ugly thing.

It's been a long time coming,
but I've finally made it home.
The rightful heir to this kingdom,
raised on the milk of the wolf.

"A devil is he." they said,
And an insurrection was planned,
They took off my head.
They fed my body to the dogs
in the street.
A storm like no other
blew in from the sea,
and before I knew it,
the kingdom was without a wolf
and the kingdom was without a king.

The decay crept in quietly,
as life returned back to the land.
"One day we'll return home, brother
Bringing justice with us in our hands."

The Mountain

2010-05-07T09:36:00.004-04:00

Out somewhere, in the darkest
part of the wilderness,
the coyotes howl,
sounds of the woodlands
call us home.
We stagger like the living dead,
to our destination.
The night does not hinder us,
the cool black veil
only leads the way.

As we approach, closer and closer
the darkness fades,
and the morning fog breaks.
The colossus stands waiting.
The place of our origins,
and of our subsequent lives & deaths & rebirths.
It knows our story well,
like the pages of a book.
Each stone holds the lessons
of the ones who came before us.
Unbreakable, eternal wisdom.

The cries of Sisyphus echo
through the canyons and crevices.
We take the jagged spine
to the peak,
where all things become clear.
Far out west of here,
we could see smoke signals
rising in the distance
on some far off other mountain top.
I smile,
knowing that she is not
so lonely after all.

Daybreak

2010-05-07T09:28:00.002-04:00

Funny how are lives
go on like this,
how people meet
and befriend and love,
and they have so many stories,
and so many memories.
It's like taking a bet,
guessing how long
they'll stick around.
Who's gonna drop out,
who's gonna fold,
who's gonna stay for the big prize.
About now I realize,
it's not a game worth winning
I laugh and I wonder; will it ever be enough?
will I cross some line and never turn back?

Bruised Lazarus

2010-05-04T10:53:00.002-04:00

Rich or poor,
healthy or sore.
It really doesn't matter at all.

Voices in the dark,
his eyes struggle to focus.
Bloodshot & broken,
cloven hooves click in the distance.

Roaming the charred, blackened earth
screaming out for help now.

Down there...
Down there where
we could see ourselves
as if looking into a mirror.

The mechanisms of fate itself,
turn and turn, as she whispers,
"The maelstrom was only the beginning."

The Night the Mountain Burned in Grief

2010-04-06T11:48:00.004-04:00

Have you ever held someone
in your arms and felt
that, there was no other place in the world?

Have you ever watched someone
walk away quietly, fading silently
and felt there was nothing left in the world?

The night the mountain burned in grief,
a thousand children could be heard
screaming with terror down on the streets.
We could see a glow out there,
like the morning sun on the horizon.
We could see the smoke against
the dark blue night sky.
The night the mountain burned in grief,
I rose my glass and toasted,
to all those screaming children,
to the friends who went before us.
To the ones who at one time,
somehow truly loved us.

And I suppose you've never known that grief.

Of the Woods #111

2010-03-30T18:02:00.004-04:00

Hearth and home,
it warms the heart.
The surrounding woods are dark
and full of terrifying things.
Bumping in the night,
sleeping like a baby through the day.
Here we are,
at this place we call home.
The forest calls.
The trees shake in the blue, twilight air
as if to send us warning.
I stand at the borderlands,
staring out to the graying northern skies.
I can hear a rumble in the distance.
A thousand war drums head our way.
Marching immortally to the echo.

She is silent as I approach,
and I feel a sharp pain in my chest.
The kings robes hang there,
in testament forever, to the life we lived.

Letter from an Old Friend (Void)

2010-03-26T11:32:00.005-04:00

You and I,
we aren't so different.
We aren't so distant.
You and I,
are still a lot alike.
We still have the same taste in music.
We still like booze, and we still like the blues.
We love the woods,
and we love the night.
But you, you were fearless.
You had nothing to lose.
Then you lost it all.
Then you felt fear.
You felt that loneliness.
You felt desperation.
Old friend, you and I,
we aren't so different.
I'd like to tell you some other things,
but I have a feeling you wouldn't hear it.
You wouldn't wanna hear it from me.
Some things never change.
It's not that different now.
But I'm so confused,
confused about you and I.
I see you, crystal clear,
here in front of me,
right now, right now.
And you're still so pretty,
those eyes still burn through me.
And you've still got that way,
but you say you don't know who you are today.
I go over your features,
each line and curve and hue.
I don't know who you are today,
but I could tell you, I knew years back.
In that stretch of time,
memories fade,
hearts wither like flowers on the windowsill.
Eyes lose their shining brilliance.
Your voice gets hoarse and unfamiliar.
Who are you today?
Won't someone please fill us in?

On Happiness

2010-03-23T10:51:00.004-04:00

It’s strange to think,
for years I’ve been waiting for this scene to play.
The moment finally came,
and I was there. You were there.
The spring sun brings life to even the long dead.
She’s changed so much over the years,
but she’s still the same in some strange way.
Maybe it’s my heart getting the best of me,
maybe it’s those eyes pulling tricks on me again.

Later that day,
I went home and crawled into bed,
smoked a cigarette and drifted off to sleep shortly after.
I dreamt, which hasn’t happened lately.
I dreamt of that bright spring sun shining down on this place.
I wonder if she’s aware,
or ever really noticed
how much sweeter I look
when I’m fast asleep.
I wonder if she understands
that the modest smile on my face
is not necessarily because I’m dreaming;
and I wonder if being happy if truly what we aim for.

There, I’m empty and silent.
Strangely absent of thought;
thoughts about my mother,
and my dead end job,
civil wars in countries I’ve never heard of.
Wars of our own,
chasing ghosts out in the desert.
A looming threat, like a raincloud above our heads.

So, where have we found ourselves?
Her silence tells me more than a thousand words ever could,
I know her well enough to know,
something’s aching inside. Something ugly.
Does she understand where I’m coming from?
Does she see we just live our lives,
in pursuit of that silent, comfortable place
on the number line between 1 and -1 ?

Not a chance. She’s a dreamer.
And after last night,
I can see where she’s coming from.
Maybe that’s all we really need.
We’re wishing for that sleep;
that cold absence of thought.

Out there somewhere in the distant
cool gray morning,
I could hear the noise
like rolling thunder along a dead plain.
Cars up on the freeway,
slowly, surely headed down to nothing.

Picking the bones of Your Memory (New Monsters Awakening)

2010-03-12T09:47:00.005-05:00

I'm far past the point of salvation;
please, don't remind me of the situation.
The feeling I feel is desperation;
please, let's not talk about redemption.

You and I clearly killed each others better halves,
now I kinda wish I could get those years back.

I'm far past the point of infatuation,
please, just stop with the temptation.
Let me reach my destination;
please, bring about this transformation.

You and I clearly killed each others better halves,
now I kinda wish I could get those years back.

The past few nights,
there's been extra chemicals in my brain.
I'm dreaming up these stories,
vivid, beautiful things.
I'm dreaming these things,
and I fear these things,
like a child fears nightmares
like a child fears an open closet.

You and I clearly killed each others better halves,
now I kinda wish I could get those years back.

The past few nights,
I've been drinking rather heavily.
And it's been confusing me;
the booze if anything should stop these things.
I think their tolerance is growing.
Can someone please tell me what is happening?
Can someone please tell me how to defeat this thing?

A Moment of Relief

2010-03-02T11:42:00.003-05:00

Grass sleeps beneath a blanket of white.
In just a few weeks, we'll spring back to life.
The sun's gonna shine down.
The sun is gonna shine down here on
this dying, bruised ground.

I can almost see you now,
running up the drive.
As I fall into your arms again.

Today it hit 60 degrees for the first time
in at least six months.
The sun was blazing hot,
you could hear water dripping everywhere.
Snowdrops, washing away
what the winter left behind.

I haven't felt this good in so long.
Breathe in that air.
There's not a cloud in the big blue sky.
I haven't seen you here in so long,
with that soft black hair.
There's not a cloud in those big blue eyes.

I can see you now,
running up the drive.
As I fall into your arms again.

Patagonian Blues

2010-02-26T16:36:00.003-05:00

Two and a half feet of snow
in just over four hours.
The sun's been hiding all day,
but now it has sunk behind the Earth.
In the forest, the nightingale sings to the carrion birds,
too tough to fly south, to stubborn to leave.
The moon's faint glow peaks through the clouds,
and the snow just keeps falling.
The silhouette of a lost little girl
tears through against the white snow like bone.
The nightingale is silent now.
It must be morning.
Crows all gather around the remains.
Snowed in for a week with a bottle of whiskey;
More accumulation expected in the next several days.

Bumpy Wagon Ride Home

2010-02-20T20:36:00.003-05:00

Life will go on.
I will drink this bottle.
I will smoke what cigarettes are around.
I will wake up in the morning and go to work.
And life will go on.
I will play these songs that ring in my head,
each word like a knife stabbing into my chest.
Every melody a memory that leads back to you.
But life will go on.
Life will go on.
I will drive by your old house every day,
stare at your driveway, hope to catch you walking my way.
The grass is growing tall, green, and strong,
and life will go on.
Yes, life will go on.
You will go through men like loose leaf,
you will move from place to place.
You will stare up at the empty night sky,
and who knows, maybe you'll think of me.
You will wonder what could have been different.
You will cry some nights away,
just like way back in the day.
And life will go on.
My love, life will go on.

Fork in the Sky

2010-02-19T15:31:00.005-05:00

Bad news came over the airwaves,
bright and early this morning.
Like a stampede
rolling and echoing
across a dead landscape.

No one is waiting beneath
the streetlight tonight.
The telephone rings;
your mother, she's in tears.
She told me you had finally died.

I thought long and hard about
the last time we were together.
The memory is still as sharp as a razor.
I remember waiting in anticipation,
for you to say you love me.

I remember watching in awe,
as you tried to say you love me.
And I remember clearly,
all you could say was goodbye.

Of the Woods, #137

2010-01-31T18:42:00.003-05:00

The white coyote's howl of pain
and frustration and rage,
echoed across the landscape
and rang like bells in her ears.

For three long years,
he wandered the sullen wilderness.
Running from his own shadow,
sleeping with one eye open.

For three long years,
he wandered arterial labyrinths,
through the roots and blood of the forest.
Growing strength, waiting for the moment to strike.

And up there at the peak of the mountain,
high in the mist and the sun of creation.
The King Wolf sat proud on his throne,
a beguiled monarchy; crumbling at it's foundations.

His Queen's fur glistens in the sun like snow,
showing great loyalty to bonds from long ago.
She howls out into the wilderness,
calling out to her lost coyote.

Old words, the forest's song.
The sound is faint and overwhelming,
like static harmony.
You were the flame,
and I was the water.
What I would give to vaporize right now.

Drinking With Assholes

2010-01-16T21:25:00.004-05:00

I really don't like anyone,
particularly not on the spot.
Once in a great while someone grows on me.
But it's once in a great while.

Most of the time they spit in my face,
or tell me I'm a drunk,
or go about doing things,
I really look down upon.

So I'm reduced to drinking with assholes,
the last few who will take my shit.
I'm reduced to drinking with my true friends,
ones I put aside a while back,
thinking I was less of an ass than them.

Bitter Realization

2010-01-14T22:14:00.003-05:00

I told her last night,
she was the cure for this poison
pumping through these broken veins.
I told her last night,
she was everything lately,
everything lately in my mind.

She gave me some sob story,
about ex lovers and home and Mom and Dad.
And I could really care less.
She told me this story,
and it was apparent then,
what this summer meant.
What lesson it had to teach.
What veil it had to pull away.

The rotten, dead and fuming nature of things.
We've all got that side,
some of us are just better at hiding it.

To Admit Defeat

2010-01-13T22:01:00.002-05:00

You're bleeding heavily,
red crimson lines run down your face,
flowing down from your scalp
dripping like a faucet from your chin.

When they smash beer mugs,
and slice flesh.
When they threaten life,
when they break bottles,
when they start swinging,
I think about it all in retrospect.

I wonder why I stamped cigarettes out on my arm.
I wonder why I pulled all those half fifth chugs.
I wonder why I stayed up 'till dawn with you.
I wonder why I brought myself into this.

When they drink so much, they can barely stand.
When they don't remember you're presence the night before.
When you love them one day
and hate them the next.
It's time at last to admit defeat.
It's time to go sailing,
time to go swimming.
Take this current as far as it will go.

An Old Soul

2010-01-12T18:46:00.003-05:00

She said to me,
"You know, you're really sweet."
I told her she was blind as a bat.
She said,
"You know that stuff will kill you."
and I said, "Let it."

You're the most stubborn thing
I've ever met in my life.
I don't think I've had enough.

Not enough yet.

She said to me,
"Boy, you really know your stuff."
I told her I'd been around the block.
She said,
"Where'd you get those scars like that?"
and I said, "Eatin' pineapple."

When the word, it seemed,
could use a soul like this.
I chose instead to drink
and let the sleeping gods lie.

Record Skips a Beat

2010-01-08T20:31:00.004-05:00

I look up just as the sun's highest in the sky,
and it's quite possible I'll turn to dust at the sight.
I'm a century ahead of the game,
stuck a decade behind.
I'm lost in a circle,
over, and over.

And the way she goes is down a familiar road,
one I've walked a thousand times and never got far.
100 miles left to go,
10 miles behind.
And all I've got is my circles,
over, and over.

The sun's sinking west, and the moons rising high.
There's a dark spot on this star like a cancerous sty.
And I'm a century ahead of the game,
but I'm stuck a decade behind.
I'm lost in this circle,
stuck looking for that one.

Song for Monsters in Chains

2010-01-01T11:48:00.004-05:00

I wake up each morning,
take a look at myself in the mirror.
I see some side effect
of the night before,
my hair in tufts all over my head,
my eyes so red I can barely see.
I look over at you,
in the same kind of torment,
you're stomach feels upside down,
it's twisted in knots.
and you're mouth is dry, so so dry.

I see monsters by night,
the silhouettes of humans by day,
I see monsters at night,
when the moon rises up in the sky.
We pour whiskey down their throats,
we blow smoke right into their eyes.
We call them out on every little thing,
we batter and bruise them until they cry.
I see monsters by night,
something human by day.
We are monsters by night,
but we keep them in chains,
we keep them locked up tight.

Breaking Free From Summer

2009-12-30T17:23:00.003-05:00

She clung to me like a leech.
She clung to me like a leech,
and sucked the life right out of me.
She held me close, and whispered to me,
"Oh, please, take me away from here."

The love we shared was doomed from the start,
the booze only served to numb the pain in our hearts.
I am a Pisces, caught on a hook
in a sea of the highest content alcohol.

As summer finally faded away,
and things seemed to wither and decay.
I was just a carnival fish, stuck in a bag,
with a shelf life of 24 hours.

I've got no one but myself here to blame,
but if I'd come back that night, would anything change?
But I am a bottom feeder, content at the bottom,
all the way down here, down here.

She clung to me like a leech.
She clung to me like a leech,
and sucked the life right out of me.
She threw me away, flushed me right down the toilet.
"You're a piece of shit, fuck off and die."

That Dark Place Down There

2009-12-29T15:25:00.006-05:00

How many more nights will this go on for?
How many rotten nights & lonely morning will this continue?
How many girls will say I'm a bad influence?
How many of the good ones will make me drink their Moose cup?
I don't mind that, actually.
All these maps and charts seem to tell me the truth,
I should have seen it earlier, maybe should have listened to you.

How many more snow storms will there be this year?
I need to know so I can hide away when they come.
If the phone rings again, I swear I'm gonna break it.
This bottle's been left open and it's halfway empty,
but god knows I'll take it.
The lines come together, as seasons draw to a close
the night comes earlier, and everything heads south.

How many more times will I chew my fingernails,
down to nothing and watch the blood drip. Drop by drop.
How many more times will I hear that alarm go off,
before it's really time to wake up.
And the moon up there, she probably could tell you about
all the rotten things we've done.
All the scenes she's seen between us, seem so much clearer from above.

If you're aware of the consequences waiting for us down there,
give me fair warning and please let me know when to get out of here.
The disasters I've felt coming in the air are taking shape before us,
luring us slowly, but so surely to that dark place down there.

Charlie's Lament

2009-12-22T15:15:00.003-05:00

They let the dogs run free,
they let the dogs run free
in the heat of the summer.

Resistance seemed easy,
in the first few fragile weeks.
But they were howling oh so loud,
he couldn't hear himself speak.
He let himself forget the taste of freedom,
but he'll be the first to tell you, it's so sweet.

His heart got big, and his smile got wide.
Friends he thought he lost
were right there at his side.
Out of the woodwork they came,
as soon as they heard rumor of his name.

He'd grown up a bit since the last time he left,
something in rehab filled the hole in his chest.
He thought he had the will and the strength to endure,
but that wagon ride was a rough one, this is for sure.

The rot which started deep inside,
finally made it to the surface one night.
And by the day after Halloween, 1979
Charlie had to me, essentially died.

They let the dogs run free,
they let the dogs run free
in the heat of the summer.

Of the Woods, #193

2009-12-22T14:58:00.004-05:00

Took a walk out in the woods
to my favorite drinking spot,
it was the middle of winter,
and it was cold as a stone.
Sat down on my favorite rock,
and looked up at my favorite tree,
all silent and barren,
it's limbs like broken arteries.

Looked around at all the signs,
the ones that reminded me who'd been here.
Burned out fire pit, broken stones everywhere.

Walked around in a circle,
for what seemed like hours,
caught some ice on a rock,
and I went tumbling over.
Tore a hole in my jeans,
blood squirted out on the snow.
The frost and the moonlight
for a moment there made me feel so alone.

Looked up at the cold night sky,
spinning quickly as it tends to do.
This sky over home where I first met you.

Clear Cut in Black and White

2009-12-11T16:19:00.008-05:00

I ran into your mother earlier today,
she was out with a friend,
having a late lunch.
"Nice to see you, how have you been?"
"I'm on vacation.", "Oh, lucky you."

I ran into your mother earlier today,
she recognized my face immediately,
and I swear I saw your face in her's.
"You know, we don't live that far away."
"I know.", "Come visit sometime."
"I'm sorry, I don't get invited anymore."

Little things like that
always manage to pop up,
when I just begin to forget.
And the sharp memory stabs in deeper again.
The blade is only getting sharper.
The blade is only getting sharper,
each and every time.

The optimists all sing,
"If love is meant to be,
then love will find a way."
So I keep on dreaming.
Dreaming of your eyes,
and of a time long given to the past.
I imagine myself in Vienna,
and for a moment there, I crack a smile.
Walking away silently;
slipping back into an empty space.

The Fist of Karma (We All Got it Coming)

2009-11-22T16:10:00.005-05:00

I wake up to the Statehood Quarter infomercial, it must be Sunday,
that's when they like to play the Statehood Quarter infomercial.
The alarm bell rings and it goes sailing across the room,
I jump out of bed and throw on clean pants,
find my hat amidst the debris of laundry on the floor,
light a cigarette, maybe make some coffee.
The drive down into town is silent and cold,
and no one else in the mountains is ever up this early.
And like Sisyphus before me, I'll spend all day
trying to make it back up this hill,
only to fall back down in the morning.
And I’m praying for a car crash to come and set us free,
like the brutal fist of karma finally come for me.
And I’m praying that the wreckage will be
indistinguishable from the victims,
so that I finally know for sure,
you and I are just one single rotten entity.
And I’m praying that as I breath my dying breath
the very last thing that I see,
is road flares spread down the highway
like our names up there on the marquis.
But no one else in the mountains is ever up this early.

Matriarchal Wisdom

2009-11-21T15:49:00.004-05:00

My mama told me, "Boy,
you'll have good days,
and you'll have bad days.
And there's gonna be days
when all you wanna do is quit,
when all you wanna do is
leave it all behind,"
She laughed to herself,
it's all a joke,
regardless of comedic taste.
"There will be days where you'll think
that no matter what you do,
the consequences always come out negative.
That's when you know you're doing your part."
The laughter stopped and
her face was set with a serious tone,
"There will be days that you'll think,
it couldn't get any better, let this last forever.
There will be times when you never want to say goodbye.
Don't kid yourself, always remember,
never ever let yourself forget,
nothing out there lasts forever."

Rejoicing at the Very Sight of You

2009-11-16T18:46:00.000-05:00

No, you can’t make everyone happy,
you can’t please all the tired, huddled masses.
But I see you here and there, now and again,
in your driveway walking to your car,
coming to the restaurant for breakfast,
I catch sight of you in the corner of my eye.
I steal a glance when I’m sure you haven’t seen or recognized me.
I see a face that I haven’t seen in a long time.
I see two eyes that are bright and piercing,
just like the first time I saw them with my own.
I see hair, dark and healthy,
free of split ends and that dull gray tone
it had there towards the end.
It glistens in the noon day sun,
and I take in a deep breath
of crisp, clear autumn air.
I want to walk up to you,
say, “hey there, long time no see.”
But no, I don’t. I’m far past that.
You’re more like a ghost to me now,
a spectral memory, a remnant of the past.
I see it in your skin, still white and pure as the driven snow,
the way you twiddle your fingers,
sip your coffee, I see it in your stride,
in the movement of your chest as you breathe.
I see someone I haven’t seen in a very long time,
someone with it, someone finally happy.

It's All Here in Glenburn

2009-11-16T15:52:00.001-05:00

I came into work early this morning,
and there was a mountain of dishes in the sink.
There were orders hanging all over the place,
the fryer needed cleaning,
and the cooler froze solid over night.
Grandma was making croutons,
and oh they smelled delicious.
My man in the dish room had
the honky tonk music up real loud,
over on the line I had
“the greatest hits of the sixties and seventies.”

By the end of the day,
I say to myself, “I drank too much coffee.”
“I took too many smoke breaks.”
“My feet are killing me.”
“I can’t wait to get home to you.”
I can accept these facts
they are right in my face, literal and raw.
I can choose to fight,
I can choose to yell and rebel, all for nothing.
None of it matters at all,
I'm becoming a fixture in this place.
I'm beginning to think,
this might be it.
I'm missing something, not sure what,
none of it matters though,
it’s all here in Glenburn.

Ruminations at Dusk

2009-11-08T16:34:00.000-05:00

I caught a glance of you as I drove by your house earlier today,
as my eyes returned to the road, I remembered a time when you and I were the same.
Oh you, with those perfect blue eyes,
those locks of hair that run down black along your jaw line
like the first darkness to peak through the atmosphere at dusk.
You, oh god, what could I do?
I spend each day, eking out what I can,
sometimes I get loud, some people say crazy;
sometimes I’m quiet, and they say something’s wrong.
I throw bottles and pet my cat,
and I’ll piss on your grave if you give me the chance,
you, oh god, you’re always up there,
dancing around stars all hung by wire,
and I try to ignore you as much as I can.

Of the Woods #107

2009-11-08T16:27:00.001-05:00

Tonight, tonight the full moon is bright,
and the constellations all look insane.
Tonight the wolves will be out for a fight,
oh the cruel effects of bad blood and pain.

The phantoms from the King Wolf’s court
all dance around and sing,
and the echoes of their ghostly howls
burn through my ears and ring.

Their chorus gains volume,
all the leaves shake in the cool night air.
And I know deep down in my gut, real, real soon
the alpha in these hounds will show itself
and by daybreak we’ll be there,
all soaked in blood and sweat and dirt,
building new scars to show what we’ve learned.

Dead Man Walking

2009-11-07T15:39:00.003-05:00

I rose up real early this morning,
made coffee to beat back the shivering cold
watched the sunrise for the
first time in who knows how long;
it crept up slow over the hills out there,
all warm and orange, singing songs alone.

It was a sight to behold, no worse for wear,
such beauty that for a minute I got lost in it there,
but I snapped back into time and space
when I smelt that rich mountain twang in the air,
and I could feel what kind of winds were blowing my way.
So if I don’t come to work tomorrow,
call the hospital, call the morgue, call the jail,
I’m a dead man walking, or so an old friend tells me.
If I'm behind bars at the end of the day I'll be lucky.

One Quiet Memory

2009-11-07T06:47:00.002-05:00

“Remember when we used to sleep like that?”

She wasn’t aware I was awake,
laying there still in the early morning hours.
Her brother laughs, “Give it time.”
I tightened my arms around you,
I could feel your pulse, in sync with my own.
Your breath like the tides, rolling in and out endlessly.

“We’ll always sleep like this together, I promise.”

Two Long Seasons

2009-11-03T10:43:00.003-05:00

We drank rum by the bottle,
for three months straight,
I never saw it coming,
but I knew it was my fate.
We pulled up to the rest stop,
a little after nine,
I jumped out of the car,
and I smashed a bottle off the sign.

Two long seasons, two long seasons,
I spent two long seasons with you.

By the end of the summer,
we tried to get our shit together;
two friends of ours had almost ate it,
when the car they drove erupted in fire.
So we picked up some jobs,
started drinking lots of beer,
life was getting back to normal,
thought we were in the clear.

Two long seasons, two long seasons,
I spent two long seasons with you.

When autumn finally rolled in,
I guess it just made sense,
you came to my window with a bottle of gin.
I let you inside, and we drank all night,
howling up at the sky in the bitter moonlight,
like a couple of hounds who caught the scent of fright
woke up all the neighbors,
and the landlord too,
but I didn’t have a care cause I was holding onto you,
and we laughed and we sang, and we each took a shot,
and I held your hand tight as we continued to rot.

Two long seasons, two long seasons,
I spent two long seasons here with you.

No More Songs for You

2009-11-03T10:11:00.001-05:00

You turned and smiled at me,
staring at me with those eyes,
like two sapphire oceans reflecting
the last few rays of sunlight peaking over the western hills.
I couldn’t help but remember,
as you reminisced on your past few bad experiences with love,
the way we once worshipped the ground the other walked on.
You handed me a drink, and I took a long pull off of it.
This is where we have found ourselves.

Years ago, you would’ve smacked me for this,
Years ago, you would’ve cried your eyes out if you saw this.
Years ago, you would’ve grabbed my hand and begged me to stop,
but now you’re right here with me,
in the same state of slow, withering decay.
Years ago, you loved me more than anything,
this time around though, it’s just bitter fabrications,
hopes floating in my head that you’d at least be here,
but you’re not here, yeah, two and a half years you’ve been away.

Song for Waitresses Everywhere

2009-11-03T09:54:00.004-05:00

I woke up drunk, it was Sunday morning,
I was late for work, or so the clock informed me.
I looked over at you, still lying naked in bed,
I asked you how long the coffee had been brewing,
you said it hadn’t been that long, it's virtually fresh.
So I poured myself a steaming cup
and drank it down fast,
I wish my life was more interesting than that,
but I haven’t a care in the whole wide world,
no I don't care enough to change the fact.

I still had half a buzz on,
and you were standing outside
two and a half hours late,
but I finally arrived.
There was a wiggle in your hips,
as you started to dance,
and a warm feeling came onto me,
when I was close enough to catch your scent.
And I really wish my life was more interesting than that,
But I haven’t a care in the whole wide world,
no I don't have a care, in the whole wide world.
I don't care enough to change the fact.

Song for the Pennsylvania Turnpike

2009-10-25T16:31:00.001-04:00

The autumn leaves are shining
out on the northern sloping cliffs,
the browns and golds and reds
all serve as a blatant warning
like these ancient bitter winds.

And you carried me without condition,
300 miles west of here,
you carried what remained of me,
300 miles west of here.

My lungs choke up quickly from
all the coal dust, black as your hair,
I see the bare trees of ghost towns
standing silently in the gray morning air.
Rusting refineries, oil stains on broken slate,
empty pastures, yellowing of late.

But you carried me without condition,
300 miles west of here,
you carried what remained of me,
300 miles west of here.

We broke through the fog,
still clinging to one another strong;
And I could see Ohio out there on the horizon,
from here it wouldn’t be too long.
Pretty soon, we’ll have to part ways,
pretty soon, I’ll have to say goodbye;
For what you've done I could never repay,
and I swear that my love for you will never die.

You carried me without condition,
300 miles west of here,
you carried what became of me,
300 miles west of here.

Egyptian Eyes

2009-10-05T15:18:00.004-04:00

I remember like yesterday, those Egyptian Eyes.
Staring at me empty and menacing.
The most beautiful things I ever did see;
razor sharp, they still cut through my dreams.
The eat at me, down to the bone until I can't even sleep.
I still see them, every now and then,
your smile as dry as the desert sands, and that eager stare.
whispering Egyptian eyes, as they continue to glare.
A gaze like the Sphinx, it will never cease;
chipping away like flint as the sands erode me.
Egyptian eyes burning up like fire;
as black cats dance and scarabs fly higher.
Egyptian eyes, the Pharoah's curse it seems;
Egyptian eyes will never let me be.

Appraising the Situation

2009-09-28T10:38:00.000-04:00

Night fever, cold sweat,
Static on the airwaves.
Full moon in the sky,
The phone rang and I let it go.
We’re warm in her arms,
In twilight unaware.
Faint muscle responses.
Awake.
Broken arrows,
Bleeding kidney death.
Potato spirits and warm stale beer.
Old mother on her way into the ground,
She becomes silent, unaware.
The lingering scent of spilled booze
Masks the scent of decay
And I sigh and grieve.
He plans on leaving town next spring,
Out somewhere in the desert.
Vegas, maybe up to California…
Cool neon in the grid of broken
Building and lonely streets.
No cities for me, I said,
I’m content right here for now.
I’ve had enough of lunatic grasses
And mysterious chemicals.
She’s all that I crave right now.
It all just slows me down, down, down.

December 27th, 2005 (Whiskey Vision of Doom)

2009-09-28T10:23:00.002-04:00

Nightmare visions,
A bright white sun
Temporarily obscuring my line of sight.
Black cats, faded army green jackets
& the same stagnant memories
Alluding to past lives & triumphs & defeats.
“You’ve tuned yourself out,
And forgot how to get back in.”
I remember words like that,
Spoken softly, clearly. Eloquent.
A calm demeanor masking the chaos inside.
It was on a cold night one December,
I remember the snow and smell of whiskey
rising from my breath, I remember.
For a good number of years there
Was some kind of love between us.
But also bitterness lay dormant beneath the surface.
She smiled for a moment, what a good disguise she had.
When the insomnia came,
Initially I ignored it.
Now, years later the sleepless hours
I’ve racked up have become
Demons & skeletons in my cluttered closet.

The Dominion

2009-09-28T10:21:00.001-04:00

Something's bound to catch,
This withering soul will soon become an inferno.
Ancient façade. Collosus.
I stand within the shadow,
Marveling the child of two continents.
And I feel, meager,
as if I never mattered at all.

The mountain whispers.
I remember the city.
The same feeling of isolation,
stuck within the grid of pavement veins & arteries.
Sirens flashing.
The vultures mark the dead,
a bulls eye in the sky for every scavenger to see.
And I wonder, if I overcome this fear,
will the mountain invite me,
back to her dominion?

There was a hallucination then,
of simian dialogue & men.
It was fragmented, crazy,
no more whiskey on my breath.
It was a seizure or a vision
of a grand scale beyond my thoughts.
Separated from the mind, there is only one,
here& now. The mountain.
And I climbed and climbed
up to the place of my creation.
The fire grew and the smoke billowed,
snakes shot out from their earthly tombs
and far into the sky above.
Circling cacophony, epiphany.
She tried for what seemed a thousand eons,
to pulverize the bits and pieces of my Being.
Finally, as her last dying breath escaped her granite lungs;
I saw The Naked Heart,
stripped of all disguises and illuminated for the world.
For once, my eyes were open to space and time,
the Platonic view of our meager existence.
I had become the mountain,
casting shadows on the lonely world below.

Lament for Prometheus

2009-09-28T10:19:00.002-04:00

Prometheus brought to us fire
& wisdom of the gods.
Lights, sound, action.
Tonight we feast on critic’s praise.
Let me tell you the stories
Of intellect and wilderness
Where all things become clear.
I will construct for you
Illustrations of furious light and sound.
The great story of existence
Put into simple words for human ears.
Listen to my vague accounts of dreams & visions.
You’ll learn far more than expected.
Bitter tastes of a grand illusion.
Clouds of blue-gray smoke
Reflect on rays of light
In my peripheral.
Ghosts dancing wildly,
Celebrating unlife, immortality.
I saw the end before it began,
Grim visions in the womb.
Maybe it was God,
Expanding my horizons.
I was unaware at the time,
And only now am I slowly realizing
The gravity of things.
One by one, pieces fall into place
And the picture becomes a little
Bit clearer.
Humans are awkward interesting constructs
Of flesh & bone & blood.
Intelligent to a certain capacity,
In the end, emotions always alter the
End result.
I stood at the peak of the mountain,
Shaking my fist at the sky.
In strong defiance of the divine-
Creator of your choosing.
Clear night. There’s no Moon.
The stars were as crisp
and clear as I had ever seen.
Hanging silently in the great void,
By cosmic tensile threads.
See the layers?
A meteor streaks through the
Sky, lighting the dark for
A single moment in time.
Nothing.
It’s autumn now,
Long haul to the city.
There’s a pillar of steam rising up in the distance.
Day Dream.
Crossing the old bridge I see
Suicide jumper’s dying visions.
The aching womb(tomb) of the valley below.
Splashes of brown and gold,
Hints of green life(death).
I take my eyes off the road for a
Moment as a business man
In suit and tie passes me out,
Lighting a cigarette.
Talent.
Policeman sleeping on the side of the road,
Highway workers doddling about
With picks and shovels.
Bright neon yellow green.
Cool blue pavement.
Endless highway hiding dirty secrets.

Sleeping With Serpents

2009-09-28T10:16:00.002-04:00

I came as the rain,
From mysterious natal roots.
Heir to a gravedigger,
Whiskey, and blues.
The moon was full when I came through.
Years later, came the snakes and fire.
They set the night sky ablaze.
On top of the mountain
They grew tired and departed,
Leaving only ashes in their wake.
So the forest screamed in pain,
The mountain cried, insane.
The ocean prayed for them in vain.
Dancing on our dying days,
Laurel’s crushed beneath our weight.
We tried and tried
With drums and whistles
Chants and songs and things.
We tried to kindle flame,
But nothing came.
I struck a deal of
Cosmic proportions.
“I can carry the weight of the sun,
If Atlas would like to be relieved.”
Now I walk in amazement
Of this ghost town Eden, never forgiving.
This ancient ruined alleyway.
They stumble drunk, howl & vandalize.
Smug & bold & careless.
Kings & princes reigning in their great
Kingdom of bullshit.
Mysteries & misty mornings,
Pavement still glowing with the heat from an affectionate sun.
Answers at the bottom of a shot glass,
The place where most of my highpoints have been.
Memories.
Walk the plank boy, until your feet are soaked.
You’re not welcome here.

Akron

2009-09-24T17:39:00.001-04:00

When my old man finally dies,
I’ll probably have to dig his grave;
and from inside his coffin I’m sure he’ll be bitching,
letting me know every little thing I did wrong.

I’ll be covered in mud right up to my knees,
digging his grave when he finally dies;
I’ll do it ‘cause I’m the last of the bloodline,
a line of grave diggers, Catholic traveling salesman,
a womanizing drunk and a nameless Indian girl from Akron, Ohio;
at least that’s what I was always told.

Tatonka Complex

2009-09-24T17:24:00.002-04:00

The buffalo charged, sickened mad,
towards the edge of the cliff.

The door closed behind you,
and I poured a shot,
then another, and another.
Before I knew it, the pint was gone,
everyone was gone; I was gone.

The old man walks in the door,
let’s smoke this joint; okay.
I crack open a fifth of gin,
poured a shot, and another,
took a hit and poured another.

The buffalo careened like trapeze artists
down to the canyon below.

Buzzard Symbiosis

2009-09-22T13:40:00.000-04:00

Buzzards all gathering up in the tree,
I wonder, I wonder if they’ve come here for me.
Have they come for you too?

At night the owls hoot and keep a sharp eye,
for escaping prisoners, they never let them by.
Like sentinels that never sleep,
they keep us locked up tight.

Buzzards all gathering up in the tree,
I wonder, I wonder if they’ve come here to feed.
Feeding on what the owls left behind.

Appalachia

2009-09-22T12:43:00.005-04:00

Smiling in bliss at the contrasting sunrise,
The night was wicked, I will attest,
"I never lost my edge."
Rough sunrise, grit & lies.

Fever left in the years behind,
laying, decaying on the forest floor.
A creeping necrotic organism.
Malignant veins bleed into new, fresh flesh.

The notion of mortality,
the persistence of memory.
What provokes these concepts?
Human need?
What exactly do you need?
What exactly separates a boy from a man?

Amidst starlight, black tendrils rise out
of the ground like the withered roots of trees.
Out in the dark the wilderness whistles
with howls & calls through thorn & thistle.
Archaic secrets of forest chemistry,
swinging like godless primates in the trees.

The owls in the trees sing us our requiem,
and I can almost see your face in the full moon.
I can almost hear the curtains being pulled.

Setting Out Half-Heartedly

2009-09-22T12:43:00.003-04:00

Hearts like two snakes intertwined,
in trees like pillars,
supporting the weight of the sky.
Crumbling.

I've seen this image too many times before,
constantly striving to wake up in a cold sweat,
stirring from a dream with torrential rain
hammering on the other side of the window.

I'm still clinging to the past,
in different, vaguely poetic ways.
Searching for the face of a brother,
a long lost friend or other familiar.

How have you been?

The Proto Junky’s Lament

2009-09-22T12:43:00.001-04:00

For as far back as I can remember,
I've sought wisdom in the form of poets
and transcendent intellectuals.
Models of the past, models of God,
things Dad wouldn't, or couldn't,
ever consider factual.

"Opinions are like assholes-" he would say..

It was at about this moment
when I realized how far the
separation had really set in.
Gathering speed and distance.
Time.
Anywhere but here.

Forgetting never seemed to be the problem,
and the absence of mass, the aching, hollow feeling
soon dissipated with time as space rushed in to fill the void.

It spread like a virus, through the fresh young sky blue veins
of the proto junky as he professed his exuberance
with a long awaited sigh of relief.
The hand that feeds wretched at the sight of him,
and the hunger could not be quenched.
This was the place that many speak of,
where all good things eventually cease to be.

In lush, vibrant color
she penetrates the veil,
Flirts with sobriety & settling down
cool agony, stagnation & redemption.
A double edged sword,
peaceful, exalted,
decaying to the sounds of morning birds and their song.

Politics of the Forest

2009-09-22T12:42:00.006-04:00

The forests and the mountains
Have always been my home,
more akin to stone and stick and beast,
than logic and rusty geared machines.
Where is the woman
and her voice like a thousand knives,
the woman, or rather, girl,
whose metal protrusions dig deep
and lace themselves with her bone?
Fed to the dogs?
No, she lives with them now,
and the King Wolf howls.
The feast that they have prepared for her
is beyond divine,
but the smell of a fresh kill
lures in the strays from all around
and the pack gets a blood lust,
a fever, their eyes turn a deep crimson red,
his throne is her bed,
but he was a stray like me, not too long ago.
And here in the ruined piss-drunk city light,
far away from home & the last few bits of beating heart,
he soon picked up the scent,
drops of bad blood on the pavement,
his rabid dominion's sights are set to shatter the night.
The forest was silent,
as the howling calls finally ceased.
"The King Wolf is dead!" the animals proclaimed.
The trees all shuddered
as drops of rain rolled off their leaves.

Farewell to the Kings

2009-09-22T12:42:00.005-04:00

Cloudy eyed, rotten and drawing in flies,
“What’s dust is dust.” The King Wolf howled as he died,
The faintest memory finds its way through,
and the hound cries up at the blood red full moon.
Something clicks inside, instinct and ease,
realizing it’s spring, the animals breed.
The Alpha awakens and on the carcass it feeds.

These streets run red with blood spilled by each of us,
from some outburst or another.
The air and rain erase all evidence,
but this memory will never die.
The final straw was laid back then,
& the camels been crippled ever since.

Bright light, city life,
at one time had me running scared,
The leaderless pack surround the feral hound,
and every time I turned my head,
I’d see her kin staring back at me with hate abound,
it comes with the job, occupational stress,
Don’t let it get you down.

These days, I follow the words of an old friend,
"The life we live must end on a good note." he said.
You resemble my mother, back when she was young & restless.
"I’m not quite sure what to say,” she said.
She seemed hurt for a moment, she seemed to resist,
but her voice soon melted into acceptance as
the Alpha awakened and on the carcass it fed.

Permanently Summer (The Women of the Season)

2009-09-22T12:42:00.003-04:00

Fresh out of high school,
on a pleasant Thursday night
at the ass end of May.
Dancing, drinking, singing.
Bare feet in the fallen leaves,
could be the remains of last year.
Bottle after bottle, day after day.
Gasping for air,
calling out names that mean nothing these days.
Then you were there,
with lips that could inebriate,
at times I felt as light as air.
But no, it couldn’t stay that way,
the devil had his day,
but we’ve got to leave that behind us.
And for the next few months, it all seemed a blur,
you were still there, I was barely there,
dark nights, desperate mornings.
There were bridges and forests and fires and clouds,
we gazed up at the stars and read poems aloud.
I ran with the pack,
and we built ourselves a den
comfortable and so far out there,
we could scream,
and only the owls would hear us.

We concocted our troubles
out of bourbon and rum,
and you told me you love that song I always hum.
Oh the fires they climbed high,
Building the remains of the years to come,
and burning down bridges that were the only way out of town.

The Lonely Frontier (A Toast to a Ghost)

2009-09-22T12:42:00.001-04:00

Do you remember clearly, just how we met?
History class, if I remember correct.
Second row from the right, two seats back,
the things I would’ve done to get back on that track.
But I’ve found myself here, on the lonely frontier,
shouting your name through the cold morning clear.
The mountain’s behind me blocking out the sun,
and I can’t help but think that my race has been run.

Here in the fog on the lonely frontier,
with my only companion, pioneer fear.
Well, everything’s gone that I once held dear,
Guess my only solution’s to disappear.

That bond still mimics,
What keeps me together;
Toy blocks holding up air.
Without it where would I be?
Without it we’re nothing,
Without it there’s at least the sense that I’m free.
Well with it, I’m chained to the memory
Yeah when I’m with it I feel like nothing.

Two years of defeat, casualties, and grief
Two years stolen by disbelief.
Letting go of the past, finally giving in.
No longer will I wage a war that I can’t win.
What’s dust is dust, and we must do what we must.
Well what’s dust is dust and we must do what we must.
What’s dust is dust, and we must do what we must.
But I’ve found myself here, on the lonely frontier,
shouting your name through the cold morning clear.
The mountain’s behind me blocking out the sun,
and I can’t help but think that my race has been run.

To you I raise my glass, blue eyed angel,
and bid a fond farewell to that ghost within,
To you I raise a white flag of surrender,
and try to recall just who I have been.

One Last Ember

2009-09-22T12:41:00.007-04:00

Running in a circle again and again,
burn baby burn, burn up and burn out.
Running in a circle time and time again,
we’ve run out of time, we’ve finally spun out.

I looked out west from my familiar point of view,
out over the hills I’ve seen since I was seven.
I looked out east and saw the familiar orange hue,
the same sun that’s rises every morning up to heaven.

I knew the end was near and I shed a tear,
I knew the end was here, I could feel it and I could smell the fear.
One last ember sparked up with a flame,
one last testament as the morning finally came.

Now we bid our slurred adieu, to warm and humid summer nights,
autumn’s rolling in and if we’re lucky we might
find ourselves something new, something clear,
could even be a morning bright,
if we make it through tonight my dear,
if we make it through to the morning light,
if me make it through this night.